1 00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:02,402 ♪ 2 00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:10,243 HEY. HOW'D YOUR DATE GO LAST NIGHT? 3 00:00:10,276 --> 00:00:11,812 IT DEPENDS. 4 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,747 IF A GUY BITES HIS CUTICLES AND THEN SWALLOWS THEM, 5 00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:15,181 DOES THAT MAKE HIM A CANNIBAL? 6 00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:17,217 BECAUSE THEN I HAD AN EXCITING DATE WITH A CANNIBAL 7 00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:19,119 AND NOT A BORING EVENING WITH A GUY WHO HAS 8 00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:22,388 A DISGUSTING HABIT. ZING‐BANG! I'M GETTING AN AWARD. 9 00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:24,224 BANG‐ZOOM! I'M GETTING A MUFFIN. 10 00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:26,326 EVERY YEAR THE VERIDIAN CHARITABLE FOUNDATION 11 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,361 HONORS SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN OUTSTANDING, 12 00:00:28,394 --> 00:00:30,864 AND THIS YEAR, THEY'VE CHOSEN ME. FOR WHAT? 13 00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:33,700 FOR BEING OUTSTANDING. FOR BEING OUTSTANDING AT WHAT? 14 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:36,136 I'M GETTING AN AWARD. 15 00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:37,538 YOU REALIZE, AS AN HONOREE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO RAISE 16 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,005 A BUNCH OF MONEY FOR THE FOUNDATION? 17 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,407 I KNOW. THAT'S THE PART I'M DREADING. 18 00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:44,745 LINDA, YOU DO IT FOR ME. HUH. THAT WASN'T SO BAD. 19 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,147 BEFORE I AGREE TO DO SOMETHING I HAVE NO CHOICE IN, 20 00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:49,215 DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHICH CHARITY VERIDIAN'S GIVING THE MONEY TO? 21 00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:51,552 I'M GETTING AN AWARD. 22 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,654 (man) TEDDY! 23 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:57,023 BILLY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? HEY. 24 00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,026 I'M IN TOWN FOR A COUPLE DAYS. I THOUGHT WE COULD GRAB A BITE. 25 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,028 HEY, ARE THOSE FRESH NUTS? 26 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:05,198 BOOYAH! OH! (coughs) 27 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,701 HELLO, LADIES. DON'T BE ALARMED. I'M TED'S BIG BROTHER. 28 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,736 OH! YOU OKAY, BUDDY? HUH? 29 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,972 OH, YOU GONNA BARF? IT'S OKAY IF YOU DO. 30 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,307 NO ONE WILL JUDGE. HELP ME UP. 31 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,643 OH, RIGHT. RIGHT. SO YOU CAN VICIOUSLY DO TO ME 32 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,679 WHAT I SO LOVINGLY DID TO YOU? 33 00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,814 NO. I'M NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING. I'M NOT A JACKASS LIKE YOU. 34 00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:23,650 THIS IS WHERE I WORK. OH. 35 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,719 RIGHT. SACK ATTACK! 36 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:26,887 OOH! YEAH! YEAH! 37 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,221 (strained voice) EXCELLENT. 38 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,023 I TOTALLY GOT YOU. I TOTALLY GOT HIM. 39 00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:33,393 YES, IT WAS MASTERFUL, LIKE WATCHING A CHESS GAME. 40 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,596 (grunts) 41 00:01:40,366 --> 00:01:42,803 HEY, TED, I CAN'T FIND ROSE, 42 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,470 AND I'VE LOOKED FOR HER EVERYWHERE. 43 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:47,508 I'M UPSIDE DOWN! WELL, I KNOW ONE THING FOR SURE‐‐ 44 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:50,043 WHEREVER SHE IS, SHE'S RIGHT SIDE UP. 45 00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:51,812 (laughs) NO, I'M NOT. 46 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,247 WELL, UNTIL WE FIND HER, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO JUST USE 47 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,883 THIS SPARE ROSE THAT WE GOT GROWING OUT OF YOUR BACK. OH! 48 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:58,885 OH, COME HERE. (grunts) WHAT? 49 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,454 THAT WAS FUN. I'M GONNA GO SEE IF IT MADE ME ANY TALLER. 50 00:02:01,487 --> 00:02:04,457 (chuckles) HEY, IT'S GREAT HAVING YOU AROUND. 51 00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:07,060 YEAH. YOU KNOW, ROSE DOESN'T HAVE A LOT OF FAMILY HERE. 52 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,529 OHH. OH, RELAX. I'M NOT SETTING YOU UP. 53 00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:10,296 SO HOW LONG CAN YOU STAY? 54 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:12,232 I DON'T KNOW, A COUPLE OF DAYS. I HEARD THERE MIGHT BE A JOB 55 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:14,234 OUT IN FRESNO, SELLING BABY‐PROOFING KITS. 56 00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:15,569 APPARENTLY THEY'RE HAVING PROBLEMS 57 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,337 WITH BABIES BREAKING INTO HOMES OUT THERE. 58 00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:19,372 WHAT HAPPENED TO SELLING BOXES? AND‐‐AND COULD YOU PLEASE STOP 59 00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:21,041 HOLDING MOM IN FRONT OF YOUR CROTCH? 60 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,309 WELL, I KIND OF HAD A FALLING‐OUT WITH MY BOSS 61 00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:24,978 'CAUSE I KEPT SLEEPING WITH HIS WIFE. 62 00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:26,980 IT'S A REAL SHAME, TOO, 'CAUSE I SOLD BOXES 63 00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:29,449 EVEN BETTER THAN I SOLD ATTACK DOGS OR FATTY SCOOTERS. 64 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,984 AW, MAN, YOU'RE A GREAT SALESMAN. 65 00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:32,619 I WAS KINDA HOPING THAT JOB WOULD STICK. 66 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,655 HEY, WHAT IF I GOT YOU SOMETHING AT VERIDIAN? 67 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,456 SERIOUSLY? MAN, I'D LOVE THAT. 68 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:39,526 PLUS, I'D GET TO HANG HERE FOR A WHILE. 69 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,962 YEAH, ROSE AND I WOULD LIKE THAT, TOO. 70 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,397 I LOVE YOU, BRO, BUT NOT LIKE IN A BROTHERLY WAY. 71 00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:46,299 NO, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE SEX FOR ME. 72 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,001 DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T WANT IT. 73 00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:50,003 YOU'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT ALL NIGHT, LIKE I HAVE. 74 00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:52,005 SO I'M COMING IN FOR A KISS. DON'T TRY AND FIGHT IT. 75 00:02:52,038 --> 00:02:53,907 OH, YOU'VE DEFINITELY PICKED UP MY SIGNALS. 76 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,009 WHY DON'T WE JUST SKIP RIGHT TO SECOND BASE? AAH! 77 00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:58,211 WHERE'S YOUR MOMMY NOW, HUH? AAH! 78 00:02:58,244 --> 00:03:02,482 (thud) AW, TOO EASY! 79 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,518 (Ted) THE NEXT MORNING, I ASKED VERONICA 80 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,853 IF SHE THOUGHT IT'D BE POSSIBLE TO GET BILLY A JOB AT VERIDIAN. 81 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:10,223 I'M GETTING AN AWARD. WHEN I FINALLY GOT VERONICA'S ATTENTION, 82 00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:12,158 SHE TOLD ME VERIDIAN WASN'T HIRING, 83 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,060 SO I TALKED TO LOU, 84 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,362 THE OWNER OF THE COMPANY THAT SELLS US OUR LAB SUPPLIES. 85 00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:20,200 I DON'T KNOW, TED. I GOT AN IDIOT BROTHER OF MY OWN I'M NOT GIVING A JOB TO. 86 00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,803 BILLY'S NOT AN IDIOT. HE'S A REALLY GOOD SALESMAN. 87 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,905 ACTUALLY, TED, I'M A REALLY GOOD SALESMAN. 88 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,708 I JUST FIGURED OUT A WAY TO SELL VERIDIAN 3,000 BEAKERS 89 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,676 I'VE BEEN HAVING TROUBLE GETTING RID OF. 90 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:35,181 SO I GOT BILLY A JOB SELLING LAB SUPPLIES. 91 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,651 AND YOU KNOW THAT SAYING‐‐ "YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY BEAKERS"? 92 00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:39,986 WELL, IT'S NOT A SAYING, AND NOW I KNOW WHY. 93 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:43,890 HEY, LONNIE. GREAT JOB ON THAT PRESENTATION. HAVE A BEAKER. 94 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,191 NO, THANK YOU. 95 00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:49,730 I DIDN'T KNOW TED HAD A BROTHER. 96 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,364 I DID. I DID ALL THAT RESEARCH 97 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,299 WHEN I DRESSED UP AS TED FOR HALLOWEEN LAST YEAR. 98 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,036 DID YOU KNOW HIS GREAT‐GRANDFATHER WAS A CATTLE WRESTLER? 99 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,204 YOU MEAN RUSTLER. 100 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,206 NO, WRESTLER. HE USED TO GO FROM TOWN TO TOWN 101 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,842 FIGHTING LIVESTOCK FOR BEER MONEY. 102 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:05,011 I HAD AN AUNT WHO FOUGHT A COW FOR BEER MONEY ONCE. 103 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:07,447 THE COW NEVER FORGAVE HER. OH, THEY'RE VERY UNFORGIVING. 104 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,050 WHAT ARE THEY DOING? OH, IT'S JUST HOW THEY PROCESS INFORMATION. 105 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,451 AH. ANYWAY, FELLAS, 106 00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,386 SO BILLY IS THE NEW REP 107 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:15,221 FOR THE COMPANY THAT SUPPLIES OUR LAB EQUIPMENT. 108 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,023 ANYTHING YOU NEED, YOU GO THROUGH HIM. 109 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,292 AND THIS IS THE LATEST CATALOG. 110 00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:21,361 OH, YOU DROPPED SOMETHING, THEODORE. 111 00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,496 PICK IT UP, THEO‐DORABLE. 112 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:26,533 I'M NOT PICKING IT UP, BILLY‐HAS‐A‐LITTLE‐WILLY. OH! (laughs) 113 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:29,435 WHAT ARE THEY DOING? THAT'S JUST HOW THEY PROCESS EMOTION. 114 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,839 RUN, DUMMY. IT'S GETTING AWAY. 115 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,375 ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME LATER. 116 00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:38,044 DON'T BE LATE. I'M MAKING LASAGNA. 117 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:40,046 ALL RIGHT. 118 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,049 PLEASE DON'T HURT US. WE'RE NOT LIKE YOU. 119 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,951 NO, I'M NOT GONNA HURT YA. 120 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:48,054 OKAY, SO, UH, WHAT KIND OF STUFF YOU GUYS NEED? 121 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:51,191 NOTHING CURRENTLY. WE'RE PRETTY CAREFUL WITH OUR RESOURCES. 122 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,160 ALTHOUGH WE ONCE MEANT TO BUY 6 4‐INCH PETRI DISHES 123 00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:56,830 AND INSTEAD BOUGHT 4 6‐INCH PETRI DISHES. 124 00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:59,199 (laughs) 125 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,367 IT WAS CRAZY HOW SLIGHTLY BIGGER IT WAS THAN WE NEEDED. 126 00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:03,203 AHH! UH, OKAY. 127 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:05,205 YOU GUYS NEED TO LOOSEN UP A LITTLE, 128 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:08,341 SO I AM GONNA TAKE YOU TO A VERY EXCLUSIVE CLUB. 129 00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:11,477 WE'RE GONNA HAVE A DRINK, TALK ABOUT LAB SUPPLIES. 130 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,947 WELL, WE CAN'T LEAVE WORK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. 131 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,882 WE'RE NOT SOMALI PIRATES. 132 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:18,451 YOU KNOW, IF YOU GET A LITTLE CRAZY ONCE IN A WHILE, 133 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,021 YOU STOP BEING SCARED OF LIVING YOUR LIFE... 134 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,156 (whispers) THAT'S WHEN THINGS GET INTERESTING. 135 00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:25,158 I HAVE ALWAYS HARBORED AMBITIONS 136 00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:27,127 OF BEING SLIGHTLY MORE PIRATE‐LIKE. 137 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,129 AND WE DID LOOK PRETTY COOL WITH THOSE EYE PATCHES 138 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,564 WHEN WE BOTH HAD PINK EYE. 139 00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:35,068 OKAY, TED'S BROTHER, WE'RE IN. (laughs) 140 00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:36,670 NO. 141 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,743 I DID A LITTLE RESEARCH ON THE CHARITY 142 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,746 THE VERIDIAN FOUNDATION IS GIVING THE MONEY TO. WHY? 143 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,981 BECAUSE I WANTED TO KNOW WHERE THE MONEY WAS GOING. WHY? 144 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,651 BECAUSE I WANTED TO MAKE SURE IT WAS A GOOD CAUSE. WHY? 145 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,553 BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A DEBILITATING PERSONALITY DISORDER 146 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,354 THAT KEEPS ME FROM CARING ABOUT ANYTHING. 147 00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:57,357 FIRST OF ALL, IT'S NOT DEBILITATING. IT'S LIBERATING‐‐ 148 00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:59,059 THE MONEY IS GOING TO A GREAT CHARITY 149 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,493 THAT PROVIDES FEMALE MENTORS FOR UNDERPRIVILEGED GIRLS, 150 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,629 PREPARING THEM FOR LEADERSHIP POSITIONS. 151 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:06,667 HA! YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS HAS BEEN RAISED, LADY. THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL. 152 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,402 UGH. I HATE IT WHEN YOU MOCK ME. I'M SERIOUS. 153 00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:10,904 AND WHEN YOU MOCK ME FOR POINTING OUT 154 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,573 THAT YOU'RE MOCKING ME. I'M NOT MOCKING YOU. 155 00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:14,808 AND WHEN YOU MOCKINGLY INSIST YOU'RE NOT MOCKING ME. 156 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:18,011 SERIOUSLY, THIS IS ACTUALLY A CAUSE I CAN RELATE TO. 157 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,547 A FEMALE MENTOR WOULD HAVE BEEN VERY VALUABLE 158 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:23,717 FOR A YOUNG VERONICA, WHO WAS BURSTING WITH POTENTIAL, 159 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,852 YET VULNERABLE, LIKE A FAWN IN THE WOODS, 160 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:29,055 BUT TOUGH, LIKE A FAWN IN THE WOODS WITH A MACHINE GUN. 161 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:32,392 SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU, OR THIS TERRIFYING, MURDEROUS FAWN, 162 00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:33,860 COULD HAVE USED SOME GUIDANCE? 163 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,630 YES, WE WOULD HAVE LIKED THAT. 164 00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:39,199 YOU AND I ARE GONNA RAISE MORE MONEY FOR THIS CHARITY 165 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,334 THAN IT'S EVER RAISED BEFORE. 166 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:43,904 THE FOREST WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF WOODLAND CREATURES 167 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,706 WHO DOUBTED LITTLE VERONICA 168 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,742 AND WILL NOW PAY WITH THEIR FURRY LITTLE LIVES. 169 00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:50,577 THERE'S REALLY NO MIDDLE GROUND WITH YOU. 170 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:53,680 EITHER YOU DON'T CARE AT ALL OR YOU CARE 100‐AND‐CRAZY%. 171 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,381 WHAT ELSE IS THERE? 172 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,919 NOW SADDLE UP, LINDA, AND SAY GOOD‐BYE TO COMMON SENSE. 173 00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:05,025 (woman) FINAL CALL. FLIGHT 25 NOW DEPARTING... 174 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:08,194 WOW. I'VE HEARD ABOUT CLUBS LIKE THESE AT AIRPORTS, 175 00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:11,164 BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU HAD TO BE AN ADMIRAL TO GET IN. 176 00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,566 WELL, LOOK AROUND, BOYS. 177 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,569 FULL BAR, CHEESES, NUTS‐‐ AND IT'S ALL FREE. 178 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,303 WELCOME TO SHANGRI‐LA. 179 00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:20,507 (gasps) THIS PLACE IS AMAZING. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE. 180 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:23,376 WE SHOULD GO. WE HAVE TO GO. 181 00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:25,946 (gasps) OH, MY GOD. THERE'S A PILOT. THAT GUY'S A HERO. 182 00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:28,682 FINE. WE'LL GO OVER, GIVE HIM ONE SALUTE, THEN LEAVE. 183 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,718 IF WE'RE GONE FROM WORK TOO LONG, WE'LL GET IN TROUBLE. AH, SO WHAT IF YOU DO? 184 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,787 SO SOMEONE GETS MAD AT YOU. WHO CARES? 185 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:36,623 YOU KNOW WHAT I DO WHEN SOMEONE GETS IN MY FACE? 186 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,992 I TELL 'EM TO DEAL WITH IT. 187 00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:40,794 "DEAL WITH IT." 188 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:42,663 GOD, THAT'D BE A COOL THING TO SAY TO SOMEBODY SOMETIME. 189 00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:45,331 (chuckles) WHY NOT TODAY? WHY NOT RIGHT NOW? 190 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:48,835 HEY, YOU, DEAL WITH IT. YEAH, DEAL WITH IT. 191 00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,639 I'M GETTING ME A DAMN CUBE OF CHEESE! 192 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:55,175 (chuckles) CAN WE TAKE OUR PANTS OFF IN HERE? 193 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,010 EASY. 194 00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:59,646 I HAVE TO JUSTIFY TO ACCOUNTING BUYING SO MANY BEAKERS. 195 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,048 BUT I'M HELPING MY BROTHER GET HIS LIFE BACK ON TRACK, 196 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,550 AND NOW PEOPLE WILL KNOW 197 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:06,152 HOW MANY MILLILITERS OF PENCILS THEY HAVE. 198 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,155 OH, EXCUSE ME. AND... 199 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:12,626 THEY MAKE GREAT COFFEE MUGS. 200 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:13,994 SURPRISE. 201 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,996 I GOT YOU GUYS 600 BEAKERS. 202 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:19,533 I WAS THINKING YOU COULD USE THEM FOR BEAKERS. 203 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,234 WHAT'S THAT? 204 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,970 JUST A BAG FULL OF SOMETHING. A BAG FULL OF WHAT? 205 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:28,141 JUST A 62‐YEAR‐OLD WHITE MALE. WE BOUGHT A CADAVER FROM YOUR BROTHER, TED. 206 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,577 DEAL WITH IT. YEAH, DEAL WITH IT. 207 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,713 FOR GOD SAKES, WHY WOULD YOU BUY A CADAVER? 208 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,215 WELL, WE WERE BEING ALL BORING AND ORDERING STUFF WE NEEDED 209 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,884 WHEN WE DECIDED TO GROW A PAIR AND DO SOMETHING TOTALLY LOCO, 210 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,721 SO WE BOUGHT IT. NO, NOT "IT." "IT" IMPLIES ONE. 211 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:45,025 OH, MAN. WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO? THANKS TO BILLY, ONE OF THESE WILL ARRIVE EVERY MONTH. 212 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,561 THAT'S RIGHT, ONCE A MONTH THEY SEND US A NEW CADAVER, 213 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:49,229 WHETHER WE'RE FINISHED WITH THE OLD ONE OR NOT. 214 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,731 AND WHAT ARE YOU GENIUSES GONNA DO 215 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,699 WHEN DEAD BODIES START STACKING UP IN HERE? 216 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,000 WE'RE GONNA DEAL WITH IT, TED, 217 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,702 JUST LIKE YOU'RE GONNA DEAL WITH IT. 218 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,971 YEAH, EVERYONE'S DEALING WITH THINGS NOW, TED. 219 00:08:58,004 --> 00:08:59,906 MM‐HMM. WELL, I GOTTA GO YELL AT BILLY. 220 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,675 AND I KNOW YOU GUYS. 221 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,511 DON'T NAME THAT CORPSE, BECAUSE IT'S GOING BACK. 222 00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:09,616 SO WHO ARE WE HITTING UP NEXT? 223 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,552 WE'RE AT FLEMING IN MARKETING. 224 00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,554 WE'RE GONNA GET 500 BUCKS FROM THIS MUTT. 225 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,155 CAN I BE THE BAD COP THIS TIME? 226 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,157 LINDA, I'VE SEEN YOU SMILE WHEN YOU CRY 227 00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,692 AND SKIP WHEN YOU'RE UPSET. 228 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,861 I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD FIT. 229 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,396 HEY, BRETT. CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? ARE YOU COMFORTABLE? 230 00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:25,666 OF COURSE HE'S COMFORTABLE‐‐ COMFORTABLE BEING A SACK OF CRAP 231 00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,801 WHO DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT GIRLS WHO NEED MENTORS. 232 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:30,070 VERONICA AND I ARE RAISING MONEY FOR A VERY GOOD CAUSE. 233 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,338 WE LEFT YOU THAT BROCHURE, BUT YOU NEVER GOT BACK TO US. 234 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:33,306 SHUT UP, BRETT. 235 00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:34,407 I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 236 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:35,742 OH, THAT'S RICH. 237 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:38,044 WE'RE GONNA NEED $10,000 FROM YOU. 238 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,146 $10,000? THAT'S‐‐THAT'S‐‐THAT'S CRAZY. 239 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,849 CRAZY? WHAT'S CRAZY IS GINA MORALES NOT HAVING 240 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,686 AN EXPERIENCED BUSINESSWOMAN TO HELP HER WRITE A LETTER 241 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:47,721 TO GET INTO COLLEGE. THAT'S WHAT'S CRAZY. 242 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,489 WHOA, VERONICA, EASY. 243 00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:51,124 GINA'S PROBLEMS AREN'T ENTIRELY BRETT'S FAULT. 244 00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:52,492 YOU NEED TO COOL OFF. 245 00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:56,096 FINE. I'LL GO GET 200 MILLILITERS OF COFFEE. 246 00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:01,467 I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST‐‐ SHE LOVES THOSE DAMN KIDS. 247 00:10:01,502 --> 00:10:04,470 (chuckles) LOOK, YOU'RE A NICE GUY. 248 00:10:04,505 --> 00:10:07,373 LET ME TRY TO TALK VERONICA INTO TAKING JUST 500 BUCKS. 249 00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,510 OH, MAN. WOULD YOU DO THAT? YEAH. 250 00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:11,945 (chuckles) BUT IF YOU TELL ANYBODY I DID YOU A SOLID, 251 00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:15,549 I WILL TEAR OFF YOUR HEAD AND TINKLE IN YOUR SKULL! 252 00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,450 (laughs) I'M JUST KIDDING. 253 00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:19,052 BUT, YEAH, I'M DANGEROUS. 254 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,157 BILLY, YOU HERE? 255 00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,159 YES, AND WE HAVE COMPANY. 256 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,228 I INVITED THE LOBSTERS FOR DINNER. 257 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:30,997 BUT DON'T SAY ANYTHING. I PLAN ON KILLING AND EATING THEM. 258 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,398 WE ARE CELEBRATING. 259 00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:35,001 I RACKED UP SOME GREAT COMMISSIONS AT WORK TODAY. 260 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,170 UH, YEAH, A‐ABOUT THAT, LEM AND PHIL‐‐ 261 00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:40,541 THEY DON'T NEED A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF CADAVERS OR EVEN ONE. 262 00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:42,843 OH, WOW. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S RETURNABLE. 263 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,778 WELL, IT'S‐‐IT'S‐‐IT'S NOT LIKE WE USED IT OR ANYTHING. 264 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,980 I MEAN, IT STILL HAS THAT NEW‐DEAD‐GUY SMELL. 265 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,215 OH, YEAH. IT'S‐‐IT'S JUST THAT MY BOSS WAS SO IMPRESSED. 266 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,151 BUT, HEY, IF IT'S A PROBLEM FOR YOU, 267 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,186 I'LL JUST TELL HIM THAT HE'S GOTTA DEAL WITH IT. 268 00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:55,656 YEAH. WELL, BOSSES LOVE HEARING THAT. 269 00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,058 DADDY! UNCLE BILLY BOUGHT ME A BUNCH OF PRESENTS. 270 00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:01,061 AND BEST OF ALL, HE SAID HE MIGHT LIVE HERE FOR A WHILE. 271 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:04,130 OH! (laughs) NOW HOLD ON. THAT'S ONLY IF THE JOB WORKS OUT. 272 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,734 (snorts and makes chewing noises) (laughs) 273 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,570 HEY, LISTEN. FORGET ABOUT RETURNING THAT THING 274 00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:12,038 WE WERE TALKING ABOUT. I'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. 275 00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:14,975 YEAH, YEAH. ARE YOU SURE? YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I DON'T WANT TO REJECT YOUR BODY. 276 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,210 YOU GOT ENOUGH OF THAT FROM EVERY GIRL IN HIGH SCHOOL. 277 00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:20,547 AND, DAD, WATCH THIS. HEY, UNCLE SILLY. 278 00:11:20,581 --> 00:11:22,816 (gasps) COME HERE, YOU! 279 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,686 (Rose screaming) OH! 280 00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,225 I CONVINCED LONNIE, 281 00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,027 THE ODD GUY WHO WORKS IN THE ODDLY COLD COMPUTER ROOM, 282 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,629 TO KEEP THE CADAVER FOR A WHILE. 283 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,230 IT MIGHT BE A LITTLE CREEPY AT FIRST, 284 00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,065 BUT THE CADAVER WILL GET USED TO HIM. 285 00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:44,004 HI. SO YOU MUST BE FROM THAT CHARITY 286 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,839 THAT THE VERIDIAN FOUNDATION'S WORKING WITH. 287 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,842 YES. WE'RE GOING TO VISIT THE HONOREE, VERONICA PALMER. 288 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,944 SOME OF THE GIRLS ARE A LITTLE NERVOUS. 289 00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:53,213 THEY'VE NEVER BEEN IN A BIG, CORPORATE ENVIRONMENT BEFORE. 290 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,649 OH, DON'T BE AFRAID. JUST DON'T GO TO THE FOURTH FLOOR. 291 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,483 THAT'S WHERE WE KEEP THE MONSTER FACTORY. 292 00:11:57,518 --> 00:11:59,953 (laughs) I'M JUST KIDDING. 293 00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:02,856 BUT, SERIOUSLY, STAY CLEAR OF THE FOURTH FLOOR. 294 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:06,192 TED, I WAS JUST COMING TO SEE YOU. 295 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,694 THERE'S A NEW RULE IN THE COMPUTER ROOM. 296 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,630 THEY JUST CAME UP WITH IT TODAY‐‐ 297 00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:12,699 "NO DEAD BODIES IN THE COMPUTER ROOM." 298 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,569 (girls scream) 299 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,205 CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? 300 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,174 YOU BOUGHT THOSE LEATHER PANTS YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED. 301 00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:22,976 MY WIFE DOESN'T KNOW I'M NOT AT WORK. 302 00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,811 IS THERE ANY RULE WE HAVEN'T BROKEN? 303 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:27,648 THESE PANTS MAKE MY LEGS FEEL SO COOL. 304 00:12:27,681 --> 00:12:30,116 I CAN'T BELIEVE MY LOWER HALF'S LETTING MY UPPER HALF 305 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,185 HANG OUT WITH IT. HEY. THE PEOPLE OVER AT THE BEVERAGE STATION 306 00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:35,321 ARE PISSED 'CAUSE YOU GUYS DRANK ALL THE PINEAPPLE JUICE. DEAL WITH IT! 307 00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:37,323 DEAL WITH IT! SO LET'S ORDER 308 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,859 SOME RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE LAB EQUIPMENT 309 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,794 WE'VE NEVER HAD THE NERVE TO BUY BEFORE. 310 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,964 UH, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST STICK WITH THE STUFF YOU GUYS NEED THIS TIME. 311 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,699 IF WE STUCK WITH THE STUFF WE NEEDED, 312 00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,901 I NEVER WOULD HAVE BOUGHT THESE FIERCELY UNCOMFORTABLE PANTS. 313 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,670 AND I WOULDN'T HAVE SQUEEZED TEN CUBES OF CHEESE 314 00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:52,238 INTO A BALL AND EATEN IT LIKE AN APPLE, 315 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,609 WHICH I SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE, BUT I AM DEALING WITH IT. 316 00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,446 I JUST HAD A DISTURBING CONVERSATION 317 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,448 WITH MRS. BOUDREAUX FROM THE GIRLS CHARITY. 318 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,184 APPARENTLY TED THREW A DEAD BODY AT HER. 319 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,486 OH, MY GOD! WELL, THAT'S NOT THE DISTURBING PART. 320 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,622 IN FACT, I FIND THAT PART DEEPLY FUNNY. 321 00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:10,691 WHAT'S DISTURBING IS, THE VERIDIAN FOUNDATION 322 00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:12,893 KEEPS 95% OF THE MONEY WE RAISE 323 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:17,063 AND ONLY GIVES 5% TO THE GIRLS CHARITY. REALLY? THAT'S HORRIBLE. 324 00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,499 WE NEED TO TALK TO MR. PAGE, THE HEAD OF THE FOUNDATION. 325 00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:21,835 IT'S TIME FOR THIS FAWN TO STRAP ON A MACHINE GUN, 326 00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:26,740 SPREAD ITS WINGS AND FLY. OKAY, WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU THINK A FAWN IS? 327 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,977 THE PURPOSE OF THE VERIDIAN FOUNDATION, GIRLS, 328 00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:34,280 IS TO LET THE WORLD KNOW OF THE GOOD WORKS VERIDIAN DOES. 329 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,216 SO YOU SPENT 95 CENTS OF EVERY DOLLAR 330 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,519 TELLING THE WORLD ABOUT THE OTHER 5 CENTS? 331 00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:40,386 IF THOUSANDS OF TREES ARE CLEAR‐CUT IN THE FOREST 332 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,055 AND NOBODY HEARS ABOUT IT, DID IT REALLY HAPPEN? 333 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:43,957 OF COURSE IT DID, SUGAR, 334 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,159 AND PEOPLE ALWAYS FIND OUT ABOUT IT, SO WHAT WE NEED TO DO 335 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,994 IS PUBLICIZE THE OCCASIONAL GOOD THING THE COMPANY DOES 336 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,196 SO THAT PEOPLE ARE AWARE OF HOW WONDERFUL WE APPEAR TO BE. 337 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,398 THIS ISN'T ABOUT SOME STUPID TREES. 338 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:55,201 THESE GIRLS ARE LIVING, GROWING THINGS, 339 00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:57,170 AND YOU'RE TRYING TO HOLD THEM BACK. 340 00:13:57,203 --> 00:14:00,373 GINA MORALES! HEY, MR. PAGE. 341 00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:03,043 CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? ARE YOU COMFORTABLE? WE'RE NOT DOING THAT. 342 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,512 YOU'RE GONNA GIVE EVERYTHING WE COLLECTED TO THAT CHARITY. 343 00:14:05,546 --> 00:14:07,480 PEOPLE SUFFERED FOR THAT MONEY. 344 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,015 WE WERE AWFUL. 345 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,851 YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? 346 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,520 WE RAISE MONEY TO HELP LITTLE GIRLS ENTER THE BUSINESS WORLD, 347 00:14:13,554 --> 00:14:16,322 AND WHEN THEY FINALLY DO, THEY STILL ACT LIKE LITTLE GIRLS. 348 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,625 I'LL NEED THE DONATIONS YOU'VE COLLECTED BY TOMORROW. 349 00:14:18,659 --> 00:14:20,827 NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, GIRLS... 350 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:23,664 NO. WE'RE NOT DONE HERE. 351 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,732 THIS WOMAN OPENED HER HEART, 352 00:14:25,766 --> 00:14:28,702 AND THAT HAPPENS SO RARELY, YOU COULD HEAR THE HINGES SQUEAK. 353 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:32,973 I WILL NOT LET YOU SLAM THAT RUSTY HEART DOOR SHUT. GO, LINDA. RELEASE YOUR ANGER. 354 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,375 YOU WILL NOT CRUSH THIS WOMAN'S SPIRIT AND LOVE, 355 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,611 YOU SPINELESS, CONDESCENDING BUREAUCRAT. 356 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:40,213 GOOD, LINDA. ONLY YOUR HATRED CAN DESTROY HIM. 357 00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,883 YOU, SIR, ARE A BAD EGG. 358 00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,384 YES! NOW STRIKE! 359 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,553 (grunts) 360 00:14:46,587 --> 00:14:47,888 (thud) 361 00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,790 WOW. 362 00:14:49,823 --> 00:14:52,793 WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? 363 00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:54,828 I AM A GOOD MENTOR. 364 00:14:56,763 --> 00:15:00,366 OKAY, I NEED YOU GUYS TO LOWER THE TEMPERATURE IN HERE. 365 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,669 WATCH THIS DUDE UNTIL I FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH HIM. 366 00:15:02,703 --> 00:15:05,171 AND YOU NEED TO PUT MORE MONEY IN OUR LAB SUPPLIES ACCOUNT. 367 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:08,141 WHAT DID YOU DO? WE BOUGHT A SMALL FAMILY OF ROBOTS. 368 00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:12,312 AND A LARGE WIND TUNNEL. WE WANT TO SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES TO DRIVE ROBOTS CRAZY WITH WIND. 369 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,347 DEAL WITH IT! DEAL WITH IT! 370 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:17,283 OKAY, HOW'S THIS‐‐WHAT IF I TELL VERONICA THAT YOU'VE BURNED 371 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,820 THROUGH THE COMPANY'S MONEY, SHE NOTIFIES H. R., 372 00:15:19,853 --> 00:15:21,722 THEY OPEN AN INVESTIGATION, AND YOU GUYS LOSE YOUR JOB? 373 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,324 DOES THAT COUNT AS "DEALING WITH IT"? 374 00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:28,962 MY LEGS ARE COMPLETELY NUMB. 375 00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:31,832 ONLY THE TIGHTNESS OF MY PANTS IS HOLDING ME UP. 376 00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:34,868 I THINK I FEEL THAT CHEESE APPLE MAKING ITS WAY NORTH. 377 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,640 BILLY, CALL ME. IT'S ABOUT LEM AND PHIL. 378 00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:41,341 AND YOU SHOULDN'T SAY "DOODY" SO MANY TIMES 379 00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:44,711 IN YOUR OUTGOING MESSAGE. WHAT IF MOM CALLS? TED, WE NEED YOUR HELP. 380 00:15:44,745 --> 00:15:46,847 TED, WE DON'T NEED YOUR HELP. GUYS, I'M KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. 381 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,382 MY BROTHER HAS PUSHED PHIL AND LEM OFF THE RAILS. 382 00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,151 I WENT CRAZY IN A MEETING AND HEADBUTTED 383 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,719 THE PRESIDENT OF THE VERIDIAN FOUNDATION. 384 00:15:52,753 --> 00:15:55,188 THAT WASN'T CRAZY. IT WAS DEEPLY FUNNY. 385 00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:59,125 IT WAS KIND OF COOL. HIS HEAD MADE A "BOOP" SOUND. BOOP. 386 00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:01,161 AFTER THAT, WE WERE SO PUMPED UP‐‐AND A LITTLE DIZZY‐‐ 387 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,196 THAT INSTEAD OF GIVING THE FOUNDATION GUY 388 00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:05,131 THE MONEY WE COLLECTED, WE DROVE DOWN TO THE GIRLS CHARITY 389 00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:08,468 AND GAVE IT ALL TO THEM. IT WAS INCREDIBLY SATISFYING. 390 00:16:08,502 --> 00:16:10,904 UNTIL WE FOUND OUT THAT COLLECTING DONATIONS FROM PEOPLE 391 00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:13,940 AND THEN GIVING THEM TO WHOEVER YOU WANT IS A CLASS 2 FELONY. 392 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,209 WELL, LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO THE FOUNDATION GUY, 393 00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:18,311 TELL HIM YOU GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY AND... 394 00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:20,113 OH, WAIT. YOU BOOPED HIM. 395 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,382 DING! WAH WAH! 396 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,551 HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN DRINKING? LITTLE BIT. 397 00:16:24,585 --> 00:16:26,720 PLEASE, TED. I CAN'T GO TO JAIL. 398 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,722 YOU HAVE TO TALK TO THAT FOUNDATION WEASEL 399 00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:32,292 AND ASK HIM VERY NICELY TO LET US OFF THE HOOK. SCREW THAT. 400 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,394 TELL HIM WE'LL SEE HIM IN COURT AND THEN HEADBUTT HIM. 401 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,162 HEADBUTT HIM HARD. CRACK THAT EGG. 402 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:38,298 OKAY, I WILL GO TRY AND STRAIGHTEN THIS OUT. 403 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,866 WHILE I'M GONE, I WANT YOU TWO TO THINK 404 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:41,234 ABOUT WHAT YOU'D RATHER HAVE FOR CHRISTMAS‐‐ 405 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:44,538 A WIND TUNNEL, A FAMILY OF ROBOTS OR A CORPSE. 406 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:50,176 SCREW THOSE GIRLS, MAN. OKAY? YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY TOOK 407 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,978 MY FOUNDATION MONEY AND THEY GAVE IT TO SOME STUPID CHARITY. 408 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,680 PLUS, THEY HEADBUTTED ME. 409 00:16:53,714 --> 00:16:55,281 AND THEN THEY POURED THEMSELVES A NICE LITTLE DRINK. 410 00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,617 AND THEN THE ONE WITH THE BUN ON HER HEAD‐‐ 411 00:16:56,650 --> 00:16:58,151 OH, SHE STOOD OVER ME 412 00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,953 WHILE SHE POSED FOR A PICTURE DOING THIS. 413 00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:01,555 WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? YOU BETTER GET THE MONEY BACK 414 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,524 FROM THE CHARITY OR THEY'RE GOING TO JAIL. 415 00:17:03,557 --> 00:17:05,526 OH, YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE COMING IN HERE, 416 00:17:05,559 --> 00:17:07,828 ASKING ME TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY, CRISP. SOME NERVE. SOME NERVE. 417 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:12,365 HE DID NOT LIKE BEING HEADBUTTED AND THEN POSED OVER. 418 00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:15,401 HEY. HEY, MAN. I‐I GOT YOUR MESSAGE. ARE YOU PISSED AT ME? 419 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,104 YES, BILLY, I AM PISSED AT YOU. I TOLD YOU THAT I HAD A PROBLEM 420 00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,841 WITH YOU SELLING PHIL AND LEM STUFF THEY DIDN'T NEED, 421 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,943 AND YOU DID IT ANYWAY. NO. I‐I HELD BACK, OKAY? 422 00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:25,546 THE ROBOT FAMILY NORMALLY COMES WITH GRANDPARENTS, 423 00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:27,814 BUT THEY'RE SITTING HEARTBROKEN BACK AT THE WAREHOUSE. SO I'M SUPPOSED TO THANK YOU 424 00:17:27,848 --> 00:17:30,316 FOR CREATING A HUGE MESS INSTEAD OF A GIGANTIC ONE? 425 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,452 WELL, JUST SAY IT, TED. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 426 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:35,155 I HAVE BEEN CLEANING UP AFTER YOU SINCE WE WERE KIDS, BILLY. 427 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:37,791 YOU BRING HOME A STRAY POSSUM, I'M THE ONE THAT HAS TO WALK IT, 428 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,492 WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE THEY PLAY DEAD, 429 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,895 AND YOU END UP JUST HAVING TO DRAG IT DOWN THE STREET. 430 00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,630 I WAS GONNA TRAIN IT TO DRIVE A GOLF CART 431 00:17:43,664 --> 00:17:45,031 SO THAT WE COULD BE ON "THAT'S INCREDIBLE!" 432 00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:46,967 YEAH, BUT YOU DIDN'T. SO I'M THE ONE 433 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,503 THAT ENDED UP WITH A WEIRD PET THAT I HAVE TO TAKE TO COLLEGE. 434 00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:52,506 BILLY, I AM STILL CLEANING UP AFTER YOU. YOU CAN'T KEEP A JOB. 435 00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:54,474 3,000 BEAKERS LATER, I GOT YOU ONE. 436 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,276 YEAH, WHICH I'M TRYING TO BE GOOD AT. 437 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,878 ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANT? 438 00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,145 YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW. 439 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:00,814 VERONICA AND LINDA ARE IN REAL TROUBLE 440 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,048 WITH THIS JERK FROM THE VERIDIAN FOUNDATION, 441 00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:04,685 SO NOW I GOTTA GO CLEAN UP THAT MESS. 442 00:18:04,718 --> 00:18:06,452 AND BY THE WAY, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES 443 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,288 I DIDN'T GET LAID IN COLLEGE 444 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:11,091 BECAUSE GIRLS DON'T LIKE GETTING HISSED AT BY A JEALOUS POSSUM? 445 00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:18,665 NOW I‐I KNOW IT'S NOT CUSTOMARY FOR‐‐ 446 00:18:18,699 --> 00:18:21,134 FOR CHARITIES TO GIVE MONEY BACK TO THEIR DONORS, 447 00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:24,004 BUT IF YOU LIKE HELPING GIRLS, I KNOW TWO WHO WOULD 448 00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:27,007 REALLY BE HELPED IF YOU RETURNED ALL THE MONEY THEY GAVE TO YOU. 449 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,275 DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY YOU SOUND RIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN? 450 00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:32,445 CRAZY OR REALLY ON TO SOMETHING? 451 00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:34,080 ♪ 452 00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:40,386 WELL, I JUST GOT TOLD TO GO SCREW MYSELF 453 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,354 BY A 60‐YEAR‐OLD WOMAN. 454 00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,524 BROUGHT ME BACK TO WHEN I WAS 10 455 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,125 WHEN I ASKED GRANDMA WHY HER HOUSE SMELLED FUNNY. 456 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:48,562 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? TEDDY, YOU ARE GONNA KISS US. 457 00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:50,831 WE GOT VERONICA AND LINDA OFF THE HOOK. 458 00:18:50,864 --> 00:18:53,800 WHAT? YOU SAID YOU WERE HAVING A PROBLEM WITH THAT PAGE GUY 459 00:18:53,834 --> 00:18:55,969 FROM THE FOUNDATION, SO ME AND THESE TWO ROUGHNECKS 460 00:18:56,002 --> 00:19:00,541 THOUGHT WE'D HELP YOU OUT. WE DOCUMENTED THE WHOLE THING. FIRST WE GOT THE CORPS E... 461 00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,976 WHO WE NAMED "ROGER." I KNOW YOU SAID NOT TO NAME HIM, 462 00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:05,011 BUT AS YOU KNOW, WE HAVEN'T BEEN LISTENING TO YOU LATELY. 463 00:19:05,045 --> 00:19:08,214 THEN WE PUT THE CORPSE IN THE TRUNK OF PAGE'S CAR. 464 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:11,484 OH, GUYS, NO, NO, NO. UH, ROGER DID NOT WANT TO GET IN AT FIRST. 465 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,219 (chuckles) YOU KNOW, HE WENT ALL FLOPPY, 466 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,856 LIKE, "OH, NO, DON'T PUT ME IN THERE." CLASSIC ROGER. 467 00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:18,324 (Billy) THEN WE PUT A NAIL IN PAGE'S TIRE 468 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:20,226 AND FOLLOWED HIM AFTER WORK. 469 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,963 EVENTUALLY, HIS TIRE WENT FLAT, AND HE PULLED OVER TO CHANGE IT. 470 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,230 (Lem) PAGE WENT LOOKING FOR HIS SPARE. 471 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:25,899 THAT'S WHEN ROGER LEAPT INTO ACTION. 472 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:29,002 PAGE OPENED THE TRUNK, AND HELLO, DEAD GUY. ROGER. 473 00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,471 THEN LIKE A TEXTBOOK DOUCHE, HE DID WHAT DOUCHES DO‐‐ 474 00:19:31,505 --> 00:19:33,139 RATHER THEN COMPLICATE HIS LIFE FOR A SINGLE MINUTE, 475 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,041 HE DUMPED THE BODY BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. 476 00:19:35,075 --> 00:19:37,544 THEN WE FOLLOWED HIM AND SHOWED HIM THE PICTURES. 477 00:19:37,578 --> 00:19:41,548 HE AGREED IT'D BE BETTER IF THEY WEREN'T POSTED ON THE INTERNET. AND SO HE DECIDED 478 00:19:41,582 --> 00:19:45,118 TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY WITH VERONICA AND LINDA. 479 00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:48,154 UNBELIEVABLE. JUST SO YOU KNOW, THIS WAS OUR LAST HURRAH. 480 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:51,525 (sighs) LEM AND I ARE DONE BEING CRAZY. I MEAN, IT STARTS OUT GREAT‐‐ 481 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:54,528 ALL PILOTS AND SQUARE CHEESE‐‐ BUT ENDS UP WITH YOU HAVING TO 482 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:57,030 CUT YOUR FRIEND OUT OF SKINTIGHT LEATHER PANTS. 483 00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,666 I WILL NOT MISS THOSE. OHH. 484 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,401 SO? 485 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:04,470 WELL, WHAT YOU DID WAS RECKLESS AND WRONG. 486 00:20:04,505 --> 00:20:06,607 BUT... (chuckles) IT‐‐IT WORKED. 487 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,809 SO... THANKS. 488 00:20:08,842 --> 00:20:11,277 (chuckles) YEAH, I MEAN, ACTUALLY, IT FELT PRETTY GOOD 489 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:14,815 TO BE THE GUY CLEANING UP THE MESS FOR A CHANGE. 490 00:20:14,848 --> 00:20:16,482 SO ARE WE OKAY? 491 00:20:16,517 --> 00:20:19,152 YEAH. YEAH, WE'RE OKAY. 492 00:20:27,027 --> 00:20:29,563 (woman) THE VERIDIAN FOUNDATION... 493 00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:31,297 HELPING THE WORLD 494 00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:33,133 THEN TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT IT 495 00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:35,068 MAKES US FEEL SO GOOD. 496 00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,270 THE VERIDIAN FOUNDATION... 497 00:20:46,513 --> 00:20:48,549 OW! 498 00:20:48,582 --> 00:20:50,116 I MISS MUGS. 499 00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:52,152 SO BILLY GAVE UP LAB EQUIPMENT. 500 00:20:52,185 --> 00:20:54,054 HE'S MOVING TO FRESNO WITH THE WOMAN 501 00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,156 WHO CUTS THE CHEESE AT THE AIRPORT LOUNGE. 502 00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:58,124 WE'LL ALL BE HAVING FUN WITH THAT. 503 00:20:58,158 --> 00:21:02,195 AND VERONICA GOT THE PENTAGON TO FINANCE A STUDY ON HOW ROBOTS TOLERATE WIND. 504 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:05,165 $3 MILLION LATER, IT TURNS OUT, THEY DON'T NOTICE IT. 505 00:21:05,198 --> 00:21:08,034 I APPRECIATE YOU STICKING UP FOR ME WITH MR. PAGE. 506 00:21:08,068 --> 00:21:10,003 YOU'RE TOUGHER THAN I THOUGHT, LINDA. 507 00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:13,139 YOU'RE LIKE A FIRE‐BREATHING, RAZOR‐BACK FAWN. 508 00:21:13,173 --> 00:21:17,010 OH, MY GOD. THIS IS A FAWN. 509 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,146 OH. 510 00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:22,282 HUH. THEN WHAT WAS I THINKING OF? 511 00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:24,885 OH, A MONSTER. (laughs) THAT WAS IT. 512 00:21:24,918 --> 00:21:27,420 I ALWAYS CONFUSE THOSE TWO.